Beat the pre-stage jitters

Hi Storytellers!

When it comes to presenting in boardrooms or on stage, our biggest problem is handling the nerves.

So today, I’d like to share some actionable strategies you can apply before you stand in front of a crowd (Spoiler: The last piece of advice is from Beyonce, and it blew my mind!)

Let me know if this helps ;)

Btw, there is a refreshing book about this topic written by stand-up comedian Viv Groskop called “How to own the room”. It’s focused on female speakers, but anybody can benefit from it.

If you are new to Story Maze, you can subscribe here.

Blank mind, dry mouth, racing heart.

Do you know the feeling?

Every time we present, we can easily slip into a fight / flight / freeze response. Our brain labels public speaking situations as threats and activates the same mechanism our ancestors needed to run for their lives when a lion was chasing them. Crazy, right?

The biggest problem with the fight / flight / freeze response is that our rational mind gets completely overpowered by the lizard (emotional) brain. Not a good thing when you need to be present and think critically.

Because of that, many of us ask: “Is presenting in public for me if I get this nervous? Maybe I’ll do this when I’m more knowledgeable and confident.”

But the truth is, fear never goes away. It just gets easier the more you do it.

A more helpful question is: “What can I do to cope with my nerves and fear?”

That’s exactly what I’m going to show you.

Create your pre-stage ritual

You can find 1,000 different ways to help you prepare to go on stage. The problem with most how-to’s on this topic is that there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Instead, you can test different approaches, combine them and build your own pre-stage ritual.

1. Get into the right mindset

The reason why we get nervous before presenting is that we are being selfish. You heard that right. We think about how others will perceive us and what will make us look smart. Adopt a generous mindset instead. The audience is there because they believe you have something valuable to say. They want to hear your thoughts, and they are quietly cheering for you. This is the most important piece of the mindset shift.

If your inner critic’s voice is too loud, write down everything it says and find an opposite experience that proves it wrong. Hell, you can even name the negative voice in your head and ridicule it with positive evidence. Separate it from who you are.

The last step to start presenting with the right energy is to channel powerful memories before you go on stage.

What was the moment when you were really proud of yourself? When did you feel the happiest you’ve ever been?

Relive that moment in your head and take the feeling with you to the stage.

2. Work with your body

There is a lot we can do in the physiological realm. Depending on the type of person you are or which kind of stimuli works for you, there are two main ways to go about this:

• Calming ritual - find a quiet space, do a short meditation or breathing exercise, and work on feeling grounded. When you sway and switch your body weight from one foot to the other, the grounding concept might just be a perfect remedy for you.

So, here is a little exercise to ground yourself: Stand up and go on your toes for a few seconds, then on your heels, after that, stand on the outer part of your feet and finally on the inner part of your feet for a few seconds (this one looks strange I know ;)). When you put your feet on the ground now, you will feel different, more connected.

• Energizing ritual - Some people prefer to listen to upbeat music or do a couple of jumping jacks. This helps you not only feel pumped up but also get rid of the excess adrenaline that your body produces when you are stressed.

Rivers Cuomo and Scott Shriner from the rock band Weezer throw a frisbee for a few minutes before every show. “It helps warm up our hands, concentrate our minds, and get us in our own little world.”

3. Turn the unknown into familiar

Most of our fear when public speaking comes from the unknown. Former American Football player Orlando Scandrick has an interesting ritual to deal with that. "When I get into the stadium, I drop my bags at my locker and just go in my full suit, I walk up to the stadium, look around, ‘OK, this is where I’m gonna work today.’"

The same goes for the stage. If you have access to the venue or room where you are presenting, go there in advance, walk around, breathe in, and think about how to use the space.

Another stress factor for speakers is the audience. If it feels right for you, greet and welcome the people before you speak and build a connection with them. It will help you ease up, and the presenting will feel less scary.

4. Step into a role

This is the most profound and my favourite preparation technique of all. Especially when you have low self-esteem or some deeply held beliefs that go against feeling good in the spotlight, like “I should be humble. My work speaks for itself. Bragging is not in my nature.”

You can create an Alter Ego. Does that sound crazy? Beyonce did that! Every time she goes on stage, she literally turns into Sasha Fierce - a character she invented that is confident, sexy, and fearless.

This is a fascinating concept. If you want to become that best version of yourself, you need to start acting like your future self today. That might be a struggle, but developing an Alter Ego can help. It can be an imaginary character or a role model - someone you really admire.

Now the crucial part - pick a thing that you can wear (bracelet, ring or a piece of clothing) and every time you put it on, you activate that Alter Ego. This process has been scientifically proven to work - it is called “enclothed cognition”.

Amy Cuddy would call it “Fake it ’til you become it” or in this case “Channel you Alter Ego ’til you become it”. If you do this right, there will be a time when you won’t need it anymore. You will adopt all the traits of your Alter Ego as a part of your identity.

That’s it, folks. Four actionable strategies to build your pre-pitch ritual.

What do you think of today’s piece?

Let me know or share it with someone who might need this. ;)

Talk to you next week,

-Dominika